As the world mourns the loss of Robin Williams, many are left wondering how someone who brought so much joy and happiness to everyone could've been in so much pain. I am astounded at how many times I have read comments like "suicide is selfish" and "why didn't he just get help?". Who are any of us to assume we knew what Robin Williams, or anyone else, is going through when this kind of decision is made?
I know that suicide is not the answer, and it is tragic that Robin Williams chose to end his life. I can't imagine what kind of pain he must've been in to make this choice, and I am sad that he's gone. However, I do understand what it's like to feel so alone that you don't want to exist anymore and that feeling is not selfish. It's painful, like down to the marrow in your bones painful, and sometimes it's much too deep to be remedied quickly. The loss from suicide affects so many people, but the act itself is very singular. It is, for many, an attempt to end unbearable torment that no one and nothing up to that point has been able to stop.
Depression - a struggle Robin Williams talked about struggling with himself - is a serious illness. It is diagnosed and treated just like Cancer, Heart Disease and Arthritis. For some, it is fleeting and related to personal tragedy; for others, it is a lifelong battle. Medications and therapy can help, but not always and not for everyone. Just like Cancer, radiation might work for one person and kill another - the same goes for treatment of depression. Nothing works all the time for everyone who deals with this illness, so what's left? Batting down the hatches and hoping we make it through. Remember, our medical professionals "practice medicine"; they do not master it. And many have no idea how to treat an illness like Depression beyond writing a prescription and telling you to think happy thoughts.
It's cliche to say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation, but it's also true. It doesn't have to be the only answer to the pain we feel, but it doesn't mean that we should look at a person who makes this devastating choice and say they're selfish. Maybe the pain was so awful that they just couldn't take another second on this earth dealing with it. Maybe the sadness sucked them so deeply into the darkness that it seemed like such sweet relief to let it all go.
I don't look at the death of Robin Williams and think he is selfish or wonder why he felt the way he did. I look at the happiness he brought to the world, and I am grateful that he is finally free of his pain. I pray for his family, his friends and for all of us who will miss the light he brought to our lives. May he rest in peace.
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please take a breath, a moment, a second to give yourself a different choice. Just ask for help, even if you have to ask someone you don't know, and let someone try to make a difference in your life that you undoubtedly make in others. You may not feel like you mean anything to the rest of the world right now, but I can assure you that you mean the whole world to someone.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
I just celebrated my 35th birthday this past weekend, and it made me think about all the things that have changed since I was born in 1979. So, I decided to make a list of 35 things I experienced growing up that kids today most likely will never experience.
Here's my list in no particular order:
- Garbage Pail Kids
- Winding Cassette Tapes with a Pencil Eraser
- Slap Bracelets
- Waiting for your favorite song to come on the radio so you can record it
- Mix Tapes you made for your friends from said-recorded songs
- Anderson Cooper on Channel One (although it's kind of like Anderson Cooper on CNN)
- Saved By the Bell
- Having to rewind or fast forward VHS tapes to get to that one scene you love
- Blowing on VHS tapes or Nintendo cartridges to get them to work
- Watching She-Ra (although it is available on Netflix or so I hear)
- Listening to books on my Fisher Price record player
- Pee Wee's Playhouse
- The creepy vinyl E.T. Doll
- My awesome ewok stuffed animal
- Watching the Berlin Wall come down
- Seeing Baby Jessica rescued from a well (made me NEVER go near a well again)
- Scholastic Book Order Forms
- Using Library Catalogs and NEVER finding the book you want
- Dot Matrix printer paper
- Pound Puppies
- Rainbow Brite
- the MASH game
- Tiny Toons & Duck Tales
- Oregon Trail Day at school
- Hypercolor T-shirts
- Making your own Slip 'n' Slide and getting seriously banged up
- Wearing Tights with socks and high-top Reeboks
- Trying to recreate the Say Anything boom box moment
- Watching Magic vs. Bird
- Tight-rolling jeans
- Using a Banana Clip in your hair
- Saturday Morning Cartoons
- L.A. Gear
- Saying "Sike!"
- Using a payphone or having to ask for directions (oh, cell phones, what would we do without you?)
Did you grow up in the 80s? If so, what great things did you experience that you wish kids today could experience too?
Monday, July 14, 2014
I have 5 days until I turn 35, and like every birthday before it I cannot wait! I've always embraced getting older, and most days I actually look forward to it. I think it's because I've always associated age with experience and wisdom; so in theory, the older I get, the more I learn and the wiser I become. Well, hopefully anyway.
This year, I decided to take the reins and plan my own birthday party. In the past, I tended to rely on others to make suggestions or plans for me - yes, I'm a bit spoiled - but that doesn't really work past adolescence (believe me, I know). So, instead of wondering what everyone else wanted to do for my birthday, I decided to throw a party at a fun Mexican restaurant. It looks like I'll have a good turnout, and I know it's going to be a blast. And I'll be honest - it feels great to have a little more than just a say-so about what's going down on my big day.
I love birthdays, and not just my own. I love celebrating the birth of the people I love because it is the day they came into this world and changed it forever. Or at least that's how I look at it. So, as I look forward to 35 and all the promise this next year holds, I hope I am changing the world for the better.
Happy birthday to me and to everyone else celebrating a birthday this month!
Friday, June 27, 2014
I've written poetry since I was a little girl. I'd make up little poems for my mom and dad, write four-line poems on my homework and just play with words any chance I got. When I was nine, my fourth grade teacher, Toni Ramon, had our class write a poem for Halloween. I really got into it, and my poem was a hit. That's when I knew that I wanted to be a poet when I grew up.
Well, here I am 20+ years later and I am a poet. I'm a published poet in fact. I've had poems featured in a couple of newspapers, a couple of literary journals and two poetry anthologies. But I've never published a collection or really taken the time to put all of my poems in one place.
So, three years ago I started a poetry blog: My Life in Words. For the first year, I posted poetry I'd written for class assignments and even a couple of poems I'd written for friends or family. Each year since, I've used the blog as my primary writing space for my poetry. It's an easy way to share my work with the world, and it's free (another plus!).
Around the same time that I started the poetry blog, I also started writing my first novel. Now, I've written 3 novels and am at work on my fourth. I have not been published yet, but who knows what the future holds? In my latest novel, I have a character named Anneslee. She writes poetry as well, so I decided to write some poetry from her point-of-view. The interesting thing I learned from this project is that writing from another person's point-of-view, even a fictional person's perspective, is very liberating.
I found it so much easier to write out Anneslee's pain, anger and frustration in a poem than I have ever been able to for my own feelings. Maybe it's because I know my characters better than I sometimes know myself. I don't know. What I do know is that they are, in my opinion, some of the best poems I have ever written.
I've posted 14 of the Anneslee Poems on My Life in Words, and I hope you will take a few minutes to read them.
Friday, June 20, 2014
Over the last couple of months I have focused on being more creative at work instead of just being creative off the clock. An opportunity came up, and I didn't hesitate to see where it could take me. I felt like a new door was opening up, and this was very exciting. I thought a lot about what life could be like if I was given the key to this door, and I knew what was ahead of me was a lot of hard work. I've never been one to shy away from a challenge, so I readied myself for what came next.
I gave it my all, but I very quickly learned it wasn't meant to be. Or, maybe this opportunity just wasn't meant for me.
This now-closed door could've been something wonderful. I know I would've worked hard and learned whatever I had to in order to be successful. And I know I would've enjoyed it every step of the way. But I also know myself really well. My drive to achieve in the workplace is very strong, and I know I would've put aside my extracurricular creative pursuits to make this now-defunct opportunity as successful as possible. I'm an all-or-nothing person a lot of the time, and I would've given everything I could to show that I was the right person to pick.
But the thing is, sometimes all-or-nothing isn't good, especially if it means giving up something you love just to prove others right. I didn't understand this ten years ago, but I do understand it now. And even though this door is closed, I've realized I have many windows of opportunities waiting for me. So, I opened one. I started my own book review blog, Book in Hand Reviews. It just makes sense. I love to read, I love to write and I love to promote the people and products I love. What better way to do that than a book review?
So, maybe one door closed and that door was a really lovely door. But, there is so much more to this world than work, and this window I've opened has a great view.
Monday, June 9, 2014
I went to the movies this past weekend with my best friend, and we saw The Fault in our Stars. It was such a beautifully romantic film, and absolutely worth every dime I paid to see it.
As someone who has seen the many faces of Cancer firsthand, it was definitely an emotional experience for me, especially the part where Hazel says, "There's no way of knowing that your last good day is Your Last Good Day. At the time, it is just another good day." The day before my mother died was one of the best days I'd ever had with my mother. I am grateful for it, but there is certainly something that lingers now that says, "If I only knew that was our last good day...".
The beauty of The Fault in our Stars is how real it is. It doesn't hide the pain or the fear, but rather embraces it; after all, "That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."
Cancer isn't fair, and it doesn't discriminate against race, creed, gender or age. This book and this movie tread a delicate line by showing children with Cancer, but I think they also remind us all that children with Cancer are still children first. They want to grow up, fall in love, see and be seen, and have a happily ever after - or at least a happy for right now.
And the thing is, even though the circumstances in #TFIOS are tragic in a way, they are also uplifting and joyful much like the young woman who inspired John Green - Esther Grace Earl. She lifted others up even when she couldn't leave her house. She reminded people to be awesome and lived every moment of her life until the very end.
I hope a cure for all types of Cancer is found, but I hope even more that until that time that we all remember that people with Cancer are still people first. Thank you, John Green, for bringing humanity and love to such a difficult topic.
To learn more about Esther Grace Earl, visit http://tswgo.org.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
For all of you poetry lovers out there, April is the National Poetry Month. It's a time to celebrate and remember notable poets of centuries past. I personally plan to celebrate National Poetry Month this year the same way I did last year: by committing to write one new poem each day of the month of April. I will publish said poem on my poetry blog, http://taragoodyearpoetry.blogspot.com, and I would love it if you would take a minute to read them.
In the mean time, if you're looking for other ways to celebrate National Poetry Month, here are some ideas you could try:
- Read a book of Poetry. My personal favorite is Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman, but I also love reading Dickinson, Frost and Plath in my free time.
- Memorize a poem. Once you know a poem by heart, it can fill your heart with a different emotion. You don't have to memorize something epic by Homer, but I encourage you to try it and see how different of an experience a memorized poem can be from a read poem.
- Revisit an old poem. Sometimes a poem you read in high school can have a whole new meaning after you've had different experiences. See what time has done for your favorite poem.
- Write a poem for someone you love. It doesn't matter if it's a "Roses are Red..." poem or something far more complex. It doesn't matter if it rhymes or makes no sense. Just put pen to paper and see the smile it inspires.
I plan to write 30 poems in 30 days, but I may end up writing more. I hope you'll check out my efforts and follow my work.
So, now that you know what I'll be doing this April, how do you plan to celebrate National Poetry Month?